perfect.

So okay I cheated. I said I was gonna find one positive thing about college today and woops my positive thing today was I got to leave college and go HOME 💙 

I seriously love hurricane. I love my house and all the food we have. Seriously so many choices. Like other than fruit snacks and goldfish because that's what I've been living off of. Love my mamma. She cracks me right up. Love Brandon and Derek. LOVE Kaden. Oh so much. Love my dad and his sarcastic dry sense of humor. Love spending time with Keanu. Seriously nobody puts me in a good mood like that kid does. Just LOVE hurricane. 

I got to go watch my best friend quarterback tonight and it was so fun. 

I look Chinese, everyone get right over it because I love him okay. 

These cute boys made it to the final cut of student council and got to do their skits in front of the school today. Seriously no two cuter kids in the world. 

And to top the day off I got to see this cute girl for a minute (: 

One last thing. If one more person makes the comment 'oh you just live in cedar, you're close, you're fine!' Or 'jessica you've only been moved out a week!' NO. I'm allowed to miss hurricane and love it and visit it every day if I want okay. 

Anyways perfect day 💙💛

i'm still at college.

So I really was gonna be good and blog about everything ever that happened to me at college but it turns out that even at college, I suck at blogging.

Guys college is hard. Probably the hardest thing I've ever done. Not like hard class wise, because honestly so far I love the school part of college, but hard in every other way. I am constantly torn between staying here and going home for a few hours. I thought that living so close to home would be a blessing, which it has been, but it's also been hard because I'm CONSTANTLY thinking about going home. Also I think I had unrealistic expectations about this place. Everyone says that college is a million times better than high school and that you get close to so many people and make so many new friends and so far I liked high school about 3424324359209 trillion times more. I had friends in high school and I was doing something fun with them every night. I don't really have friends here and the most exciting thing I do at night is go running. I dunno. I'm sure it takes time to get into the swing of things and start getting to know people, but I've never been too patient.

Okay that was all really negative. I actually have had some fun here. Jordan and Kaden came up and visited me the other night and they came during what SUU calls "quiet hours" which basically means you have to be quiet from 10 pm-10 am. And let me just tell you. That was hands down the most STRESSFUL thing that's ever happened to me. My brothers are about a million things, but quiet is definitely not one of them. But I haven't laughed that hard since being at college, and I haven't laughed that hard since they left and that's saying something because a famous comedian that has a show on comedy network or central (is it obvious I don't watch tv yet?) came and performed here for all the students. And Jord and Kaden were still funnier than that. Anyways I freaking love my brothers and miss them so much but it's fun that they're gonna come see me sometimes.

Something else I love is my job. I don't remember if I ever blogged about my new job before but if I have you're about to get a repeat. I work at a Taste of Hawaii as a waitress and I love it. It's so fun to be able to talk to all the regulars that have been coming there since dinosaurs walked the freakin earth and also to those just passing through Cedar, who ask what there is to do in Cedar. Ha NOTHING. Good one though. But it's also fun because my boss has foster kids and they help out there and I've gotten to know Issac and Oscar, especially Issac. They're the coolest kids ever and I love working with them. It's crazy how hard some people's lives are, but they still find a reason to be happy everyday.

So I guess that's my goal for this next week, because it's been a week since I moved away. I'm gonna find a reason to be happy every day. And when I get really down and that reason isn't working for me anymore, I'm gonna find a new reason. Because I really feel like college is like everything else in life and it's just as fun as you make it.

So here's to a better week than last one. I'll let you know how this goes.

first day.

Well college is already CRAZY and classes haven't even started classes yet. My mom came up with me yesterday and we got everything all moved into my new room. 

My mom loves awkward photos of me by myself. But ignore that, and look how cute my room is! 

The bathroom...

And my roommates side of the room! And speaking of my roommate. 

There she is. Guys. This is definitely a big deal for me. She's super nice and sweet, but she's a musical arts major who went to a private school for the arts in Vegas and  I'm just a kid that was born and raised in Hurricane, Utah. She asked what I did and I told her play tennis and lacrosse and I'm pretty sure she's never heard of either. Which is fine, just different. 

After all the parents left, I found Haylee and paisley who are also up here THANK GOODNESS. We all hungout and went to dinner and then decided we were tired. We were just laying in our room and these 5 boys came and knocked on the door and wanted to hangout. So I called Pais and Haylee and Haylee brought her roommates and we went to Denny's with them! It was pretty fun, sooo different than what I'm used to. After Denny's, we went to 'the beach' where we just talked and got to know each other better. 

This is what I learned from that. People are DIFFERENT. And it's weird to me. I feel like everyone in Hurricane is just exactly the same. We all get along and can hangout with each other but there's absolutely no diversity. Not slamming on Hurricane at all because I love it. But that's just how I see it. 

Speaking of diversity, there could not have been a more diverse group. For once in my life it wasn't me with a billion other Mormons. It was me and one other Mormon and 10 non Mormons. And that was different for me. And everyone's interests were foreign to me. There was a kid from Austria with us, accent and all. And a seven foot tall kid that is at SUU on a full ride for basketball. I dunno, just crazy stuff. 

We all hungout until the cops came and told us we weren't supposed to be there after dark. Woops (; 

After all was said and done, I met Haylee in the living room on my floor and we just hashed out the evening. I'm glad we got to meet some new people right on the first night, but I'm excited to meet more people. Maybe some more like me. 

And I'm especially I'm glad my best friend is here to experience it all with me (:

pre-college.

Well. This is it. In about three hours, life as I know it will be over. I wish I could say I'm handling this change like a champ, but that would be a straight up lie. I realize I'm moving to cedar. I realize I can come home whenever I want. All of that doesn't really help though. I guess it's just the idea of it all. Sure I can come home whenever I want, but it's the little everyday things I'm gonna miss so much. 

The little things like this. Hahaha. Last night I was talking to Kaden and my parents for like two hours and I was all crying because I'm a dramatic and my mom was crying, probably because she raised a dramatic baby. And I was just sad. And then Kaden was being all funny, wearing his pants around his neck and making me laugh. And I'm just gonna miss the little moments. 

But. I am kinda excited. My life is definitely changing, but I'm kinda ready for it. I'm ready to meet new people and try new things. 

So here's to hoping this is a good experience. 

I will definitely be keeping you posted. 

reality check.

Seriously. I had this conversation with a friend a few months ago and it's stuck with me ever since. This kid is an example of how a real man should be. He never makes a decision without thinking about how it's gonna affect his future, and if it's sketchy in the slightest, he doesn't do it. 

This just goes to show that not all boys are the same. In highschool, there were about a million and a half jerks that didn't care about respecting girls or themselves or anything. But then there are still some like these. These are the kind of guys I wanna spend my time with. The guys that realize there is life after highschool, and it's not all about being happy right in the moment, and not caring what comes after. 

I dunno. I guess it's just important for me to always remember that there is such a thing as a good guy. They're not a myth, believe it or not.

The other thing I have to remember, especially with me moving out in a few days, is that to attract a good guy, I have to be a good girl. I think that's the most important thing for me to remember at this point in my life, and I'm gonna do my best to live up to the things my parents have taught me, even when it's hard. 

so much change.

This past week and a half have been CRAZY. A good, weird, scary, kinda exciting kind of crazy. 

I got a job in cedar at a little restaurant called a taste of Hawaii as a waitress. Which means I turned in my two weeks and durangos and Numyz. 

I'll be honest, I loved working at the good ole durang-a-bangs. It was seriously so fun (for the most part) and I had some good times and laughs there. I'm definitely glad for a change, but I'm gonna miss the place!

My first day at my new job was yesterday and so far so good! I love being a server, and didn't do too bad in tips! The girl I worked with was way chill, and it was a solid first day. Can't wait to work more!

I'm at a weird stage in my life. Huge changes are right there, and I don't know if I'm ready for them. I move out this Wednesday, and I'm scared to death. I'm gonna miss my family, especially Kaden. Even though I'm only gonna be in cedar, it's gonna be tough. 

Overall though, this summer had been such a good one. I had a ton of fun, and learned a lot along the way. 

It's crazy how stuff changes after graduation, even in just a few months. But I learned that the only people I need in life are the ones who stuck around. And I learned that no matter what happens, if someone is supposed to be in your life, it'll work out and they will be. 

Today has been a good one. Me and my mom came up north for my soon to be sisters bridal shower (: it was a ton of fun! Actually all of the wedding stuff has been a lot of fun, it's all really new to me. I got this cute note and I couldn't be more excited. 

 

Kristen already feels like family, but it's exciting that it's finally gonna be official! 

Anyways, after the bridal shower, me and my mom went shopping for dorm stuff as well as clothes! Tonight we went to the Hale theater and saw my all time favorite, Tarzan.

I didn't know what to expect, but I'll admit I had high expectations because Tarzan has always been my movie. And it did not disappoint. It was all amazing. The singers were all crazy talented, the set was awesome, and it was completely entertaining. After the show we went to brio and had dessert. Overall a successful day 👌 my mamma is gonna be the person I miss the most when I move, hands down. I get teary just thinking about it! She's such an amazing mom and it's been so fun to spend the weekend with her!

I said goodbye to Shelby a couple nights ago, she's going to school in Logan. It was WEIRD. The whole college situation is wack in my opinion, I'll never know where the time went. I guess this is it for now, but I'm sure there will be plenty of interesting stories for me to share once I move out (:

sunrise.

Every other day I like to do this thing called wake up before noon. I go to crossfit at 6 in the am and it usually sucks but this happened today: 

Seriously I don't know if I was just on a high from the workout, but I'm pretty sure this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 

Heavenly Father sure knows what he's doing (:

update.

Does it count for anything if I know I'm a bad blogger? I'm still trying to work it so you don't hear from me either 7 times a day or once a month. Obviously I haven't quite mastered it yet. 

A few things happened since I last blogged. First of all, Bryce left on his mission. 

WHAT. 

I don't know why, but this is just what I think. Bryce isn't allowed to leave hurricane. He's just like a fixture here, someone you can always call to hangout or do something crazy. But apparently someone didn't clue him in because he went to Africa for two years. He really is gonna be the best missionary ever, but I'm gonna miss that kid. Before he left I got to hangout with him quite a bit. We went on a night hike up three falls and the stars were BEAUTIFUL. If you ever wanna feel like you're just a little baby dot, part of something way bigger than I can even comprehend, I recommend hiking at night. We also watched the scariest movie I've ever seen, but I'm recovering. 

He came over to say goodbye the day before he got set apart and it was weird. Because we all just talked like we always do but then he hugged us and said see ya in two and now Africa. So okay. 

Another thing that happened was I took Brandon and Derek paddleboarding and we convinced my mom to come along after a while too (: the only downside is we accidentally went during a hurricane. It happens. But once the wind died down a bit and we figured out we have to stay closer to shore, it was really fun. 

Haha my cute paddlin' buddy (: 

Here's another thing that happened. I found a recipe on Pinterest and me and b and d made it and it actually was really fun and good! 

This is the recipe, seriously give it a try. Super easy and yummy. Here's a helpful hint even: we didn't have a pan so we just made the pan shape out of tin foil and put it on cardboard. I was paranoid the whole time that the cardboard was gonna light on fire so I pulled it out and put it on a pan. But I accidentally ripped the cookie in half. My bad. Luckily it was mendable so nobody had to know, but I do recommend having the right pan. 

I don't remember if I mentioned this already, but I got a job in cedar! After filling out about a million applications, I got one! My personal favorite part of the job hunting experience was when the manager at one of the places I applied asked how old I was and I completely froze. Aren't I charming? 

So that's pretty much what's been going on in my life for the past little while. Here's one more thing that happened. I was at work at durangos, just helping customers, minding my own business. One guy came through and it came time for me to roll his burrito. I did so, and he told me how what I did was way past a job, I had a talent for rolling burritos. Great. I didn't really know how to reply so I just said "yeah, I've definitely rolled my fair share of burritos." Really that's all I said. This guy absolutely ERUPTED and just stared right into my eyes and laughed for like 10 minutes. It was so awkward. I'm not even funny. Weirdo. 

Anyways, I'll try to post more often so I don't have to write novel posts every time. 

No promises though. 

happiness is.

Emotions are such a weird concept to me. Like something happens and we just feel good inside and it's called happiness. Like what. It's also crazy to me that different things make different people happy. 

Everyone has their own definition of happy. 

This is my definition. 

Happiness is: 

-listening to Christmas music in July, just because you want to. 

-realizing your fly is down BEFORE you leave the house. 

-when your dad mutes the tv every night when you get home from work just to ask how it went. 

-rubbing your eyes at the end of the night, even if you still have make up on. 

-coming home to find your brother has eaten a big handful of trail mix and left all the m&m's on the counter up for grabs. 

-absolutely nailing a song on the piano, even if you haven't played for a while. 

-finding a pink otter pop in the mix of orange and green ones nobody wanted. 

-climbing out your bedroom window at night to read on the roof. 

-knowing the person you're talking to won't judge anything you say.

-completing a task and feeling like you did a good job. 

There are a million and a half things that make me happy everyday. Focus on those things, because nothing else matters.