cats outta the bag.

truth is, i'm not sure I've ever been as sure of myself and what i'm doing than I am right now in my life. I have decided to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and my papers are officially submitted as of last week. it's amazing to me how the Lord takes care of us. The day I received my patracharial blessing was the day I knew a mission was what was in my very near future. It was a hard day and I made some big decisions. But ever since I have decided what i'm going to do, the Lord has never left me. I've never been happier than I am right now and I can already see blessings left and right from my decision to serve. The support I've received is unreal and the good feeling that's been with me since I've submitted my papers is completely undeniable. life is just too good and I always want to remember how I feel about this right now because i'm under no delusions that this is going to be easy. I do know that it's going to be possible and there's no better place for me to be.

that little announcement aside, this last weekend has been the BEST. tonight I went to a Christmas party with the whole crew from highschool. a lot of us have gone our separate ways and we're all doing different things with our lives and I haven't talked to some of these girls since graduation and saying it was good to see them and laugh with them about old times is the understatement of the year.

this is after a couple girls had to head out, but you get the gist of it. such a good night with my favorites (:

 I guess the point of this whole thing is that I know that what i'm doing right now is exactly what i'm supposed to be doing. i'm absolutely scared to death because I hate not knowing where i'll be serving and thinking about being away from my family makes me teary just thinking about, but all that aside I know. there is nothing better for me and I can't wait to serve the Lord for a year and a half where he needs me. basically I just love everything and it's never been so obvious how blessed I am :')

thanksgiving break and too much snow.

guess how much it snows in hurricane? MAYBE an inch a year. and it pretty much shuts down the town. that's why I am so confused why I am sitting in class right now. it snowed over a foot LAST NIGHT ALONE. woke up this morning, looked out the window and saw all the snow and checked my email to read the emails that surely came telling me class was cancelled because of extreme weather conditions. the thing that really stumped me was that there were no emails and I still had to go to class even though the temperature is in the negatives. toto, we're definitely not in hurricane anymore. 

to be fair I will include that me and Haylee did have fun in the snow a couple weeks ago. 

we bought snow boots and a sled and made this snow family. and it was a great day, don't get me wrong. but after that I had my snow fix but it just keeps snowing. I guess you can't win them all. 

thanksgiving break was the best. I got out of school Tuesday and loaded up my car with enough stuff to stay a month and headed home. that night me and my mamma and Kristen went and saw catching fire (BEST MOVIE EVER PEETA NEEDS TO MARRY ME) and went out to dinner! the next day we headed up north for the rest of the weekend. 

our week consisted of shopping, 

 

ice skating, (excuse the red eye I couldn't fix no matter how hard I tried) shopping, 

going to the jazz game with the fam, shopping, 

seeing brigadoon at hale theater, (which turned out to be really good. definitely gave Tarzan a run for it's money) shopping, 

going to see the temple lights (there were exactly one million and one people there. that is an odd number because I was the only one without a date. holla) shopping, 

and hanging out with the whole fam (: 

oh yeah, and we went shopping. me and Jordan and Kaden went to the mall at midnight for Jordan's first Black Friday experience ever. there were definitely enough people there to get the whole feel for it. the one thing we bought wasn't on sale, so you could say we failed. it was fun though! 

after the jazz game me and Jord and Kaden went to mcdonalds. there was a homeless man sitting outside on his suitcase so we decided to buy him a couple burgers. he was so grateful and it was so humbling. he had literally nothing, barely even a coat to live in snowy salt lake. and all we had to offer him were two mcdonalds dollar menu burgers, yet you would have thought we handed him a hundred dollar bill. it made me think about how much I really do have to be thankful for. so in honor of the holiday season and thanksgiving last week, I'm gonna make the typical 'things I'm thankful for' list. 

1. I am so so so so so thankful for my family. they are my favorite people in the world and it's been so fun growing up with my brothers. my parents are amazing people who have showed me through example how it looks to be genuinely good people. 

2. even though it's hard someone's, I am thankful for the opportunity I have to attend suu. yeah it's cold and snowy but it's been good to experience college and living away from home (if you consider going home for Sunday dinner every week living away from home haha) 

3. I am thankful for my roommates emilee and madasyn. I don't know how I lucked out to get normal roommates but I did and I love them and all our crazy moments. 

4. I am thankful for the example of all my friends on missions and all those with calls waiting to leave and those that are preparing to leave. they are the best examples to me and I really look up to all of them. 

5. I am thankful for my job and my boss. I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again, but I have the best job and I am really blessed to work there. 

and 6. I am thankful for the gospel and all the opportunities it provides for me. I don't know everything, but I do know I am thankful for the influence it has on my life. 

this is just the tip of the ice berg and I am so lucky to have everything I do. 

oh hey.

THINGS I REALIZE:
1. in two days, it will have been a month since I have blogged.
2. I will make the excuse like I always do that I have been busy, but let's be real. mostly i'm just lazy.
THINGS I NEED YOU TO REALIZE:
1. this is going to be long.
2. most of the stuff I would imagine you really don't care about.

with that being said, let's do this. first of all i'm doing this on my laptop and I usually blog from my phone so I can include pictures. if I had to choose two words to describe me, it would probably be these two: TECHNOLOGICALLY CHALLENGED. so I really don't know if this will have pictures with it. we'll all just be surprised.

so let's back up about a million years.

before i begin this story i just want to make it a point to let everyone know that it probably took me half an hour to get that picture in this so YOU'RE WELCOME. for fall break we tossed around quite a few ideas. and if you can believe it, camping at grafton won out. if you know my family at all, you know we're not big time campers. my dad and brothers THINK they're some great outdoorsmen, if that counts for anything. but once in a great while, we go real life-dutch oven dinner-harmonica playing and jokes around the campfire-sleeping in tents- honest to goodness camping. and this was one of those times. i always dread it when my dad decides it's time for another camping trip, but once we were out there and got everything set up, i was a literal happy camper (; we decided to go into zion and hike angels landing, and me and jord and kaden made it all the way to the top! here's a tip to anyone thinking about hiking angels landing: the view from about halfway up is the exact same view from the top, so if your pride will allow it (which mine wont) just go to the halfway point and you're golden.

me and haylee decided to be fun college students and go up to the howl (according to the site, the biggest party west of the Mississippi river..we had to go once in our college careers, right?) in logan. so we began our trek north.

 

this is one think about logan that i learned on that trip. you can drive and drive and drive and drive and you still won't be there. about 5 hours into our trip, i began to believe that logan was a myth. this whole party was one big prank to make poor college students spend all their money in gas for nothing. but finally FINALLY we got there. and i can honestly say it was worth every second spent trapped in our car. and then some. we picked holly up on the way in orem, and kalli lives in logan (i don't know why in the world anyone would ever live in logan, but whatever floats your boat) and it was fun to see them! anyways, the party was completely nuts and so so much fun.

the day after the howl was my birthday and haylee oh so generously bought me these birthday antennas that i sported while driving even though it meant i couldn't sit straight. i am such a good sport. my birthday was a good one this year. nevermind that i'm NINETEEN FREAKING YEARS OLD AND NEXT YEAR I'LL BE TWENTY AND HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN. haha but anyways, we drove back to hurricane that day and i just spent the day with my family and friends!

 

exactly 8 days after returning from cedar from salt lake it snowed. yup. real life snow. in November. you're reading all of this correctly, i understand your shock. me and my roommates left the room at like 11:00 one night to get some chicken nuggets from Wendy's and BAM. snow everywhere. they're both from up north and don't understand that i was born and raised in hurricane Utah, and they didn't understand why i was freaking out. anyways, i tell you this because of the following: 9 days after returning from salt lake and one day after it snowed, i got a binder out of the back of my car and proceeded to scrape the snow and ice off of my car for roughly 30 minutes in the 16 degree weather so i could make the drive to salt lake again. my only thought while scraping? why in the freaking heck did i willingly move myself to cedar city, Utah.

 

 it is kinda pretty though, huh? and it was totally worth it. because that night i got to see Shelby, eat at the cheesecake factory, and see FREAKING MAYDAY PARADE LIVE OH MY GOSH. nobody will ever know what a big deal that is to me so i'll be brief. it was the best day of my life and i love them and they are so good live i can't even.

 

this is a real life picture from that night. i was that close to him. i love him i love him i love him.

it was most definitely not the last mayday concert i will be attending, we'll leave it at that.

oh yeah, i am still at college. i love it here. college is freezing though. i don't know why cedar has to be as cold as it is. i don't know what it's trying to prove. things are always crazy busy around here. i love my roommates, my classes, and my job. i don't know how i lucked out and love all of those things, but i do.

 

well, that's about all I've got. if you actually read through all that i give you props. if you didn't, i completely understand.

 

 

I actually have things to say.

guys so much has happened and yay for most of it being good! 

lets go ahead and get the bad out of the way. I completely shattered my phone and I absolutely cried. mostly I'm just telling you this because if there's a lot more typos in this than usual, that's why. I can't see what I'm typing in some places. my sincerest. 

on with the good. I got reminded a week ago today that Heavenly Father cares about me. woo. unfortunately that's one of those things I forget a lot and need constant reminding but He loves me enough to give me that. I've really been stressing lately. I feel like there's more I need to do and I just couldn't figure out what. I considerd a mission for a while but that just has never felt right for me. but I was really considering it because I've just been feeling like I need to GO. so this next part is so dumb but go with me here. I was watching soul surfer (all time fav movie) last Tuesday and it hit me. so this time next year, if things continue to go as planned, I will be attending the University of Hawaii. I really feel like this is what I need to do. I don't know what it is, and it may seem silly because I can't explain it but I'm gonna give it a try. I've had a couple meetings with the global engagement center and my academic advisor and things are going well so far so here's to hoping this works out. 

other way cool stuff. my best friend got his mission call to Apea, Samoa. let's pretend like I spelled that right, yeah? I just need to go a little further so you realize how big of a deal this is. his mom is full Samoan and his dad is white, so Keanu doesn't look like it, but he is definitely Samoan. and it's always been a really big deal for him. he spends a lot of time at his grandmas house, learning Samoan. he was raised with a lot of the traditions and he respects them. he's even taught me a little, and I'll pretend like I have anything to show for those lessons (; anyways though,, he would always tell me about people he would hear being called to Samoa and he was SO jealous. so when he opened that call and read those words, my first thought was that he was messin with everyone, which is 100 percent typical for him. but I just got chills and he was all choked up and I knew he wasn't kidding and it was so amazing. he is gonna be the best missionary in the world and I'm so so proud of him. 

hahaha I just feel like this is proof that he really is Samoan. check out his leis. and the only reason I have any is because of his family. it's a thing apparently. 

alright other things. last week was suu's homecoming week and being faithful freshmen, we attended the majority of the activities. a lot of them were a bust, but Friday was SO fun. 

hellogoodbye came and performed live and this was their guitarist and we loved him. so there's that. there's also this little tradition suu has called true t-bird night. the idea is that everyone goes down to this big statue of a horse and at midnight everyone kisses someone and then you're a true t-bird. we decided we would go because that is a people watchers heaven. it had recently been brought to my attention that my dad reads this blog so I'm just gonna go ahead and leave this story at that (; but it was a fun night and I'll be done with this story! haha 

speaking of my dad, today is his birthday but we did his celebration on Sunday because I was home. 

I don't think my dad realizes how much I look up to him. especially now that I've moved out. being in cedar has made me realize that money doesn't make itself and he has always provided for my family. and I love him for being the crazy hard worker that he is. really there's not a minute when my dad isn't doing something that is going to benefit me and my brothers. I love that he is so funny (although not quite as funny as he thinks he is) (; and always down for a good chat. I love you dad (: 

hikes and stuff.

 you know how there's those people who live for hiking and then there's those people that are like why. yeah I definitely fall under the why category. but a few days ago I started thinking about going on a hike. and I just latched so hard onto the idea. and I was going hiking no matter what, dangit. I roped Haylee into going with me, mostly I think she was just worried about me because I was going crazy because who even hikes. but it was BEAUTIFUL and probably made it into my top 5 favorite days at college so far. lucky for you I took one million pictures because that's how I roll, yo. 

leaves are changing here and it's fall? who even knew such a season existed? not me. 

probably my favorite part of the hike. to get to one of the falls you have to walk through the water in the narrow little rock thing. it was freezing and the best. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is I get why people like hiking. because apparently I Iike hiking. 

other stuff that's happening to me is I'm being a super senior. we went to hurricane last night for their homecoming game, and I spent about 30 minutes in suu's bookstore picking out an suu sweatshirt to wear to the game so people knew that I was actually doing something with my life. combat the super seniorness of the whole experience. all that led to was one million people asking me about school, which is the worst. but you do what you gotta do, ya know? 

it was actually super fun because tons of people we graduated with were there. so we just repped the super senior section and it was all good (:

it was all a good start to the weekend (: 

wedding.

here's to hoping the three people who read my blog didn't give up on me in my two week absence. things have been CRAZY to say the least. but a good crazy. my oldest brother f i n a l l y got married and it couldn't have been more perfect in my completely unbiased opinion (; 

they got married in the salt lake temple, which is completely gorgeous. I would not mind getting married there one bit. 

Jase and Kristen took approximately 17 years to come out of the temple and it was a little on the cold side but it turned out to be worth the wait! 

it's amazing how happy they both looked. it was for sure motivation to be a good girl so I can get married in the temple one day. 

kinda fun to think that we get to have 5 more weddings..let's give my mom a couple months to recover before we bring that fact to her attention (; 

the reception that night was beautiful. they did all the traditional stuff at this reception, the cutting of the cake and the boquet toss, all the cute stuff. it was a lot of fun! 

the reception in hurricane was last night and oh my gosh it was beautiful. it couldn't have been more perfect. well actually I take that back. if I could change one thing I would have worn a t shirt that said 'yes I'm going to suu, I live on campus, it's fun, I like my roommates, and yeah the snow is gonna suck.' because I went over those exact details approximately 7282628384728386272 times. but at least I had a hot date, eh? 

it was a solid weekend for sure. I'm kinda sad it's over but I'm glad that Kristen is finally officially part of the family! 

beach.

tonight was solid. went to my favorite place ever. I love cedar and I love the beach. 

this was so pointless I guess. but I love college and I love my life and I hope you do too (: 

i should be listening..

so my human development class is an appropriate time to blog, right? yeah I thought so. I had such a good week last week. I can't believe how much I love it here all of the sudden. just when I think things are as good as they could get, I have a really good day at work or I score really well on a quiz I didn't know I had. seriously, I'm so happy and blessed. there were problems I had when I first got here and I just didn't understand how things could go so bad. but looking back, it was actually a blessing that things worked out the way they did. sometimes I forget that Heavenly Father is never gonna leave me hanging and he is gonna make sure everything will work out the in the way that's best for me. 

I had a really awesome run the other day and I ran to the top of this mountain and when I got to the top this was waiting for me. my gram thinks I should send this in to ksl, apparently I can win an iPad (; but seriously, how amazing is this world we live in? I'm in cedar city, Utah and I swear it's the prettiest ever. ah I can't get enough. 

the other day I had the funnest night with an old friend. we just explored cedar a little and talked about old times and current times. and it was the best. 

I also went home this Sunday and I freakin love my family so much. 

if Kaden ever finds out I posted this he will never speak to me again but this makes me laugh so hard so I had to put it somewhere (: anyways though, solid sabbath with the fam damily. 

I guess my point is that if something is hard, wait it out. give it time. Heavenly Father has got this. it'll be okay. 

better and better.

so this is pretty much just me talking about how pretty cedar is and posting mediocre pictures I took on my phone round two. how obnoxious am I? (; no but really LOOK. 

I am so obsessed with the weather here right now. I know that in about a month, if that long it's gonna be freezing and I'm gonna be eating my words but for now I'm in love. 

did you know cedar just has its own tiny lake? this is where I go always. because it's warm water and so calm and beautiful. 

guys college isn't as bad as I made it out to be. I had a really rough start, but I'm about 70 million times better. dare I say I like it? this is what I learned. attitude is absolutely everything. I had it set in my mind that was a huge step, which it was. and I give myself props for being here and trying this, so yay me. but it's DEFINITELY do-able. and it can be hard and I'm sure I'll have some more really tough days when I just wanna go home. but I can do it. 

tonight my suite mates invited me to go to McDonalds with them and I did. I really haven't gotten to know them at all and I feel bad about that. this week I'm gonna make an effort to be their friend. because how fun would it be to be their friend and hangout and have cute roommate movie nights? okay probably that was creepy. 

but anyways. college is good. change is completely necessary and anyone can handle it. and my roommates are gonna be my friends. holler. 

cedar appreciation.

so I personally think I work on the cutest street in cedar and I love my job. tonight we were way slow and my boss doesn't care what I do so I stood outside and watched the sunset for really probably 20 minutes. 

I just work here. so cute. let me draw your attention to some specifics. first of all the classic barber shop swirly thing. I don't know what its called, I just know I love it. second of all the hanging basket of flowers. I am in love. it's hard to see because it was getting dark, but use your imagination. and the lights in the trees make my day. all the buildings are cute and old and I just love it okay. 

also this. taken right from the doorway of my work. how unreal is this? cedars sunsets are always nuts but I was dying tonight. 

I dunno, I've really appreciated this place more the past few days. I don't hate it here anymore. I actually really like it (: 

looking up.

you know that old saying 'its always darkest before the light?' I really feel like I experienced that this week. I really didn't know what I was gonna do at the beginning of this week. moving home and commuting was something I thought about a million times a day. I felt judged and alone and so sad all the time. it was  rough go. then all of the sudden things got better. I owe a big part of it to my brother. I called my mom when day and was crying to her about how awful everything was and how I didn't have any friends here and Jord was with her and could hear what was going on. the next day I get a text from a number I didn't know asking me on a date. come to find out it was one of Jordan's old mission companions that's also at suu going to school. we went and got ice cream and just talked and it felt so good to know I finally have a friend here. it felt good to talk about stuff that wasn't college related and to laugh and not be alone. and I owe that to my brother. 

that was really the start of things looking up around here. that night I was in such a good mood and I went to casino night, a college sponsored party, I didn't really gamble. relatives calm down (; 

me being a freakin stud and winning black jack over and over (; 

look how fun it was though. everyone was dressed up all fancy and it was in a way cool building and it was just a fun atmosphere! seriously such a fun night. 

the next night me and Haylee came home to hurricane for a suu/Dixie combined dance party. 

Kalli is going to Dixie so she came with us and it was so fun to hangout with her! I didn't realize how much I missed her until I saw her. 

we slept in hurricane that night and I was woken up at 9 in the freaking am by my dad to go clean the church for the SECOND WEEK IN A ROW. wtf. but luckily I love my family and how huge it is so it wasn't that big of a deal. 

plus I got to use this huge vacuum so it wasn't all bad, folks. 

that night we came back up to school and went to the first home game of the season! 

it was seriously so fun to go to a football game again. I've missed it! we won, complete blowout, but it was way fun! 

after the game was a huge paint dance and it was absolute POURING but it was so so fun. and dangerous. people go crazy to get to the front of things. lets not be complete savages, people. 

we're looking a little rough, but it was so fun! 

I was home in hurricane today and really I have the best family, absolutely no competition. after dinner today we were all just sitting around talking and it's really baffling how hilarious all my brothers and parents are. I absolutely love it. also we took family pictures last weekend because we were all home for the first time in forever. look how precious. 

these ones were my favorites and they're mostly just the ones we were being silly in. but that's just how we are and it's my favorite. also these are crappy quality because I had to take a picture of a picture. sorry about it. 

alright I'll be done now. sorry about the marathon post. here's to another good week!